Who is the most parentified child in all of Bravo history? Monica Garcia’s eldest daughter comes to mind immediately, as do Danielle Staub and Kelly Bensimon’s daughters. But after watching this week’s (delightful) RHOC premiere, I think the correct answer might be Tamra’s daughter Sydney, who used her legal-adult agency to appear on the show for the first time in ages and spent most of her screen time calmly but firmly reminding her mom how to behave like a human being. In some ways, it’s less grim than the aforementioned mother-daughter dynamics because Sydney’s not currently in middle school. But a soon-to-be college freshman should perceive her mom as an embarrassing presence whom she’d like to be more independent from (see: Antonia Gorga and the Giudice girls), not as a responsibility she’s tired of handling.
THIS WEEK IN BRAVO
RHONJ
I was visiting my family in Phoenix most of this past week, so our vintage RHONJ journey has been on pause. However, my parents have been watching the Las Vegas season of Top Chef, so my week was not totally devoid of iconic reality TV sibling conflicts.
Below Deck Med
This season remains reliably good, but what is the point of putting Captain Sandy on my television if she’s not going to fire anybody? As much as the professional section of my brain benefitted from seeing Aesha effectively neutralize the Ellie/Bri conflict, I’m not watching this program to learn new management skills, I’m watching it because I love mess.
RHoDubai
Speaking of wanting more mess! This season remains solid, but after spending several consecutive episodes thinking nothing but “let Stanbury cook” and “fire Sara,” I’m ready for the alliance shakeups to begin.
RHOC
This season is deeply suburban Wisconsin-coded. It’s got an incestuous dating pool, DUI drama, a friend group that only has one person of color and one person with good politics, and people ordering Malibu and diets without a trace of shame. Suffice it to say, I’m already obsessed.
The Shannon-Jesus Jugs conflict has strong potential to become a classic in my favorite subgenre of Bravo beef: fights where both parties are equally right and equally wrong, but too stubborn and/or stupid to realize that a third party is the true problem. (That being said, Shannon currently has an edge for looking directly into the camera when Alexis marched off.) And that’s not even the most intriguing feud brewing; I can’t wait for newbie Katie to beef with Heather for the duration of this season before they join forces next season as the only two people in the entire history of this program with tasteful facial injections and more than ten brain cells.
TALES FROM THE CRYPT
I’m almost to the end of My Life on the D List, and of all the celebrity guest stars I’ve come across so far, the one that means the most to me is Barbara, the chic, no-nonsense editor whose deadlines Carole Radziwill blew off during her run on RHONY. An absolute thrill to discover she also edited Maggie Griffin’s book.
FUTURE DEVELOPMENTS
Because I pre-wrote last week’s issue in advance of the holiday weekend, I failed to include one of the most important Bravo developments in recent years: Lindsay Hubbard is currently filming the new season of Summer House in the same house as her ex-fiance while pregnant with her new boyfriend’s baby. I assume that will make this season of SH her last, but I look forward to her and Jessel combining their messy powers on Real Housewives of New York in 2026.
In actual RHONY casting news, Racquel Chevremont is joining for season 15, and it seems like noted Scientologist Rebecca Minkoff is no longer doing the same.
MISCELLANEOUS GOSSIP CORNER
Olivia confirmed she was fired from Southern Charm. On the one hand, I understand cutting someone from a show about social life in Charleston if their social life is no longer in Charleston. On the other, she was a primary player in the drama that brought the show back from the dead last season, and I think she deserved a wrap-up lap before her departure.
Porsha is campaigning for a Frick and Frack reunion.
While Hannah was objectively very annoying in her last season of Summer House, Kyle’s present-day beef with Craig makes me believe that doing a Truly ad catalyzed her rift with the rest of the cast.
I assume a great Bravo Docket explainer episode is going to drop in the next week.