007. Our Debilitating Fear of Loneliness
A trip so wild nobody had time to dunk on LVP's Dr. Zhivago hat
This Week’s Pairing: Carrot Ginger Soup
Taylor’s marriage and ensuring mental health crisis are not funny. But the chef wandering into the middle of her dinner meltdown to introduce the carrot ginger soup course absolutely is.
Though it’s not in my personal top tier of Bravo franchises1, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was masterful at its peak. The women’s problems are either dispatches from another planet or all-too-relatable exposures of the dark side of human existence, with no in-between.
The trip to Beaver Creek contains both — in fact, the impetus for the trip is firmly in the former camp. Camille Grammer is bereft about having to sell her Colorado home — one of several — as part of her divorce settlement. (How dare Frasier make her sell the house where her children learned to ski!) So she invites Adrienne Maloof, Lisa Vanderpump, Taylor Anderson, and Kim and Kyle Richards to help her say goodbye.
Meanwhile, some people are having actual problems:
In a continuation of season one’s key storylines, the familial tensions between Kim and Kyle Richards linger, and Taylor is still struggling with her unhappy marriage to Russell. She’s determined to make things work not because Russell is a good partner (he is not) but because she’s terrified of being alone — and that terror shines through on this trip when she drinks too much white wine in the hot tub and proceeds to have a breakdown. This takes precedence over any head-to-head arguments, but there are some simmering background conflicts, so let’s get into them:
Who Won the Vacation?
Kim v. Kyle (continued)
While Kyle and Kim’s relationship has improved drastically since their infamous fight during the season 1 finale, neither one of them has fully moved past it. Kyle wants to pretend she has — and expects Kim to do the same — but she admits that she’s nervous to travel with her sister and is clearly not that eager to share a room with her. Kim is far more forthright in acknowledging that she’s not totally comfortable around Kyle yet. But, in spite of all these tensions, they not only manage not to have any active fights but also seem to have some genuine fun together.
WINNER: Kim. Kyle’s desire to pretend their prior conflict never happened is a bad look.
Taylor v. Ken/LVP (continued)
Not only is Taylor Going Through It with her garbage husband, but she also has to listen to people tell her she’s not Going Through It correctly — namely, LVP’s husband Ken Todd, who at a dinner party in a prior episode informed Taylor that “if I had to go to a therapist to make my marriage better, I would feel weak.”
These dinosaur-ass comments get revisited during the four-hour car ride from the airport to Camille’s house, and LVP tries to distance herself from them by saying “it’s his opinion” but never actually expresses a divergent opinion of her own. And, LVP’s condescension about Taylor during her talking heads makes it clear that she agrees with her husband’s assessment of Taylor — a domestic violence survivor — as weak. As if the Taylor-Russell saga isn’t dark enough in its own right!
WINNER: Taylor. Fuck Ken’s anti-therapy stance. Just because you’re British doesn’t mean you have to make it everybody else’s problem.
Kim v. Taylor (... also continued)
As we are helpfully reminded in flashbacks throughout the episode, Taylor and Kim have not always gotten along. In fact, they’re not even getting along at the beginning of this trip; Taylor is annoyed by Kim’s free-associating about her child actress past throughout the aforementioned four-hour car ride.
But, when Taylor ends up crying in Kim and Kyle’s room after her hot tub meltdown, Kim — wise beneath all her eccentricities — is gentle and understanding, reminding Taylor that she doesn’t have to be ashamed of her working-class Oklahoma past or her marriage because “everybody has problems, everyone has something inside that hurts them.”
Touched by her kindness, Taylor earnestly apologizes about the way she’s spoken to and about Kim in the past. Kim accepts the apology and keeps supporting Taylor throughout her evening-long breakdown.
WINNER: Both — a kind reconciliation and a heartwarming break from all the needless judgment thrown Taylor’s way.
Trendwatch
There is not a day that goes by when I do not think about 1) Adrienne Maloof’s tinsel hair and 2) the time my best friend turned to me while watching early RHOBH for the first time and earnestly admitted “I think I might want tinsel hair.”
Regrettably Relatable
I cannot believe any of these women has ever flown Frontier Airlines, the airline I had no choice but to rely on during the two years I lived in eastern Washington because I was a grad student and it was the only efficient, reasonably-priced way to get back to the midwest. And yet they did, and it was captured in footage that aired on national television. Yes, they were in first class and yes, it was before Frontier went full Ryanair, but I still had to rewind to make sure my eyes weren’t deceiving me.
Wise Words
“Sparkles is different than rhinestones.” — Kyle, justifying her belief that her style choices aren’t as tacky as Kim’s
What’s on Deck
It is with a heavy heart that I inform you we’re once again leaving the country with the women of New Jersey next week as the Giudice-Gorga conflict ventures into international waters. If you want to revisit the details, you can watch episodes 17 and 18 of season 3, “Get to the Punta” and “An Inconvenient Truce”.
Too many weak-drama seasons, cast isn’t funny, when will the tyranny of the Fox Force 5 end, etc etc